I found it

I have found it. I have found what I was looking for...well a piece of it anyway. And I am so excited! Praise the Lord! I understand it was only by God's grace, mercy, and love I have made it this far. Glory to God!!!! I bless your name Jesus! From Oak Drive in Mobile, living depressed and oppressed and beat down. From being very insecure and suicidal...and having a minor eating disorder. Thank you Jesus! From sexually molested and sexually confused and sexually violated. Thank you Jesus! From fights with my mama and crying and praying and whelp marks and bruises. Thank you Jesus! From fighting to maintain my sanity thinking I was losing my mind. From isolation and loneliness, motherless, and fatherless....Thank you Jesus!!! From struggling with self acceptance and confidence. And men loving me....and loving my self. From Sexual transmitted diseases and rape, and alcohol. Thank you Jesus! From struggling with grades and not being smart and not having money. Not having clothes, not having food....Thank you Jesus. From friends leaving me and talking about me. Thank you Jesus. From being rejection and dealing with not being good enough. Struggling to graduate from college. Fighting to get into Graduate school....and moving to a new city. Dealing with loneliness in a big city and being the only Black in the program. Thank you Jesus! Going through the death of my father, dealing with suicidal thoughts, loss of my dreams, wanting to give up...but Thanks be to God....I made it. I never would have made it from the depths of Mobile off of St. Stephens Road to the hill sides of Boston on Charles Street. Praise God. I never would have made it without God. He is the source of everything I am and I have become. I love Kafond but Thank you Jesus....I love God more!!! I love my grandma but Thank you Jesus I love God more. Every breath I take I am reminded on how I am blessed just to breathe right now. Because if it was up to me, up the the enemy I would have taken those pills....but Thank you Jesus. I didn't and I'm still here! I'm still here! I'm still here. I been knocked down, beat down, tore down, ran over, kicked, left for dead...BUT GOD! I been talked about, laughed at, criticize, dogged out, lied on....BUT GOD! I been mis-understood, ignored, dissed....BUT GOD! GOD HAD A PLAN. He had a plan the whole time and I am so thankful. I bless God....cause I'm still standing. He's so good. And I love him. I found it..